Hai. My name is Maya. I am almost too weird to function. Psychedelic Pointer

obamallamatime:

Hello, Police? I accidentally stepped on my cats foot and need to be arrested

480,696 notes

heart:

HOW TO WRITE AN ESSAY IN TWO HOURS DURING SCHOOL a novel written by me

33,719 notes

sammybitchfacewinchester:

fricken-nuggets:

fricken-nuggets:

Whats red and bad for your teeth?

a brick

well you’re not wrong

311,946 notes

rawdi-kun:

dying before your friends and welcoming them to hell like

image

104,698 notes

cumsock:

phukers:

I’m going to nickname my child lil Bitch 

i see you’re passing on the family name

239,610 notes

ilemmy:

Why I want to drive: to get from a to b


REAL reason why I want to drive: so when I become famous I can drive the reasonably priced car..

598 notes